Republican Taquitos (24 taquitos or approximately four servings)

Note: This meal may be too sour for most people's taste. Republican meat is usually rancid and bitter however when properly prepared, Republicans can be turned into a tasty meal you'll want to serve to your family every day.

1 Fresh Republican meat
24 corn tortillas
Half cup of vegetable oil
1 Clove garlic
3 Tomatoes
4 Avocados
1 Large onion
Salt and pepper to taste

Pan frying method

As with all of these Republican meat recipes, acquire a fresh Republican from your local street corner as it's waiting in its SUV (an H2 "Hummer" Republican's meat's the best) for a red light. Drag the rightard out of its SUV and choke it until it stops squirming. (After removing the anus, you may find you have nothing left. If this is the case, find another Republican in a smaller SUV and try again -- the smaller the SUV, the smaller the asshole.)

Slice the useful Republican meat into steaks no more than one inch thick. (You'll need only about two pounds of meat.) In a frying pan fry the Republican in the half cup of oil until the meat is well cooked, then set on a plate with paper towels to remove all excess oil.

As the meat cools, use a flame stove to crisp the skin on the tomatoes then peel the tomatoes and dice into a large bowl.

Peel and slice the garlic, adding the slices to the bowl of tomatoes.

Remove the peel from the avocados and dice them into small cubes (don't crush them; make small cubes.) Add the diced avocados to the bowl of tomato and garlic.

Peel and finely dice the onion then gently fold the onion into the bowl with the tomato and avocados, using a spoon to turn the mixture until it's well mixed, avoiding crushing the cubed avocado.

After the meat has cooled, use a fork to separate strings of the meat until it's been fully shredded. It's best to keep the strings laid out flat without bunching.

In a microwave oven, place the tortillas on a plate and microwave on high for one minute, turn the tortillas over and then microwave for another minute.

While the tortillas are still hot and pliable, take strings of the Republican meat and place them along the edge of a tortilla and then roll until the tortilla has been formed. Place each tortilla in the cold frying pan with the seam down to avoid the taquitos coming apart (you may need to use a fork to hold them down as they're added to the pan.)

Apply a low flame to the frying pan for approximately 5 minutes until the bottoms start to turn brown. Turn the taquitos over carefully with a spatula and brown the other side. Turn the taquitos until they're browned on all sides.

Remove heat and place the taquitos on a plate with paper towels to absorb excess oil. Serve hot with bowl of avocado, garlic, and tomato garnish.

Oven method

Instead of using a frying pan, a normal convention oven may be used instead. Taquitos are placed onto a well oiled cookie sheet and then brushed with oil, then cooked for approximately 20 minutes.

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