The "astrologer" Linda Goodman once wrote
"Everyone loves a pervert. Just not on the subway."
This was her way of pointing out that there is a proper time and place
for sexuality. It is very difficult at times to know when it is
appropriate to approach someone romantically or amorously. Therefor
people generally choose the default behavior when they find someone
they are attracted to--- they keep their attraction to themselves.
I have talked with women and men who even go out of their way to avoid
the men and women they desire; the more they find someone appealing, the more
they strive to be as far away from that person as possible. This is their
way of dealing with the issues of unrequited love, unrequited lust,
embarassment, and rejection. (This mechanism of emotional defense some
times goes so far as to induce some people to be cruel and abusive to
the people they desire.)
This is also the method of choice many women and men use to avoid problems
if they are married but find someone else desirable, or if the person
desired is one of their co-workers. Pursuing romance in these instances
is almost always not an option for an individual, so silence and
avoidance is indeed often the best solution.
If anyone suggests that there are rules one can follow to help one know
when to pursue romance, that person is probably mistaken. This also
holds true for claims that there are classes one may take, or a book one
may read, OR A WEB SITE one may view, that purports to have the solution.
These sources might offer tips and suggestions, but they cannot offer
a method that will "work" or be valid all of the time, or
even most of the time. Therefore, keep in mind that anything I write
about the issue is just my opinions, and nothing more.
There are some observations I wish to make on the issue. If you are
interested, please select the arrow at the bottom that points to
the right.